In the little time I've had at home, I've found a house and begun purchasing items for it to make the space my own. I've purchased lovely Chinoiserie silk to cover my new dining room chairs. I've had my eye on Chinese corner chairs and chests for decorating. I've been to the Chinese grocery store at least twice to stock up on items I'm missing (tofu noodles and ingredients for dim sum). I have planned to do my reveal (if I get chosen for House Hunters) with a traditional Chinese red tea that I brought from, well, you know where. It's really funny how China followed me home.
Last night, I took two of my favorite kiddos in Charleston to see the new Kung Fu Panda movie, and nut that I am, I cried the whole way through. "Oh dumplings," I thought. I'm a mess, really. FYI though, the movie is precious and not sad (except for maybe one or two parts, but it's all good in the end).
When we left the movie and drove back out to Wadmalaw where the children live, I sent them inside to get changed into pjs and I stayed out with the dogs for a minute. I couldn't take my eyes off the sky. There were hundreds of stars twinkling in that clear black expanse. I promise I will never take stars for granted again. I was so sad that I couldn't capture the beauty of that moment. I wanted to share that view with my students in China, because I know unless they've traveled far from Dongguan, they've never seen a sky like that.
This afternoon, I went to a new spa downtown called Salt. I hadn't really thought of the name before going for my massage. My sister had recommended it and my mom, since she gave me no birthday present in September when I was living abroad, offered to pay for my treatment. I walked into the space and immediately began to tear up. Salt lamps were everywhere. I was given a salt lamp when I lived in China...waaa.
Over the course of the last week or so, I messaged back and forth with two friends, both international teachers, as they debated what they'd be doing next year. I listened to them list the pros and cons of their options for the future. Belgium, Doha, Lithuania, Bangkok. As they went through the motions trying to decide what their next step would be, I felt a little jealous knowing that I'm not moving anywhere.
This statement will sound crazy to most of you because I am currently buying a house, but you have to know me, and know travel, to understand it.
For most people, buying a house would be a "trap" into staying in one place. For me, I think it'll be even more of a reason and an opportunity to travel. I am looking at getting out of the classroom and into consulting. Having my home base will be absolutely vital for my mental health (the short chakra cleansing meditation I did this morning is example enough of how necessary this house is to me).
As grateful as I am for all the wonderful people who have opened their homes to me in the last few weeks, having my own space, the type of space I design to help me rejuvenate after a long day, will bring even more positive energy into my life, and that energy will be shared with guests who visit through AirBnB and Home Exchange. There again, who chooses a house based on what they think their guests may like? That'd be me, and ask my casting producer, I did talk a lot about just that in my auditions.
These examples are a small glimpse into my daily life. Moments of pure bliss clouded occasionally by a bittersweet taste of sorrow...sadness that I no longer have what I did, but then, I realized something as I was driving today.
I DO have the best of both worlds. How many people can say in the last five years that they've lived in four different countries and visited countless more? How many people have made the vast number of friends I have or experienced the insane yet wonderful cultural differences of people from around the world? How many people can return to a place like Charleston, which I proudly call home, and jump right back into the swing of things almost, ALMOST, as if nothing has changed?
The most wonderful part of it all is that bittersweet bliss. I am thankful for the pleasure I find in the small moments here, and I am equally grateful for the memories I have from my time away. I cry a lot, but that's nothing new. The beauty is that my tears now are less painful and a more pleasant reminder that I am truly, unbelievably, and unquestionably blessed.
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